It's Never Too Late To Improve Your Relationship
We help couples with any type of relationship, married or unmarried.
One of the most important things we have learned from counseling hundreds of couples over 28 years is that rekindling the love in your marriage and making it work is only possible when you are open to change.
How can you restore the love you once had after all that’s happened?
Some couples try to work things out on their own with self-help books. Others become experts in pushing each other's buttons with subtle put-downs and insults. Relationship counseling books rarely motivate in making long-lasting changes and pushing your partner’s buttons isn't a satisfying way to sustain a relationship.
People desperately want love but don’t know how to do love. They need direction. They need a map.
We will provide you with a map to improve your relationship.
By the time a couple decides to come into our office for couples counseling, their relationship is usually hanging by a thread. Divorce sometimes seems to be the only option. People who marry today have a fifty percent chance of getting divorced. If they try a second go-round, their chances of divorcing are 65%.
An average couple will wait seven years from the time their marriage begins to unravel until they make the decision to seek counseling. What finally drives them to take that step is frustration and pain. We are not only referring to psychological and emotional pain.
When our clients tell me that their hearts are broken they’re not just speaking metaphorically.
The stress of a bad marriage can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and cancer. That’s because when couples constantly bicker and fight adrenaline and cortisol levels soar. These hormones surge during emergencies -- it’s what happens in the familiar fight-or-flight response. In an emergency this response is necessary for survival -- on a daily basis it can lead to illness.
When the body is put in a state of high tension day after day and year after year, the effects can be devastating. The body takes a beating. If your marriage is in trouble why inflict more unnecessary pain on yourself and your spouse?
Don't wait to find help. You may cause irreparable damage.
When choosing a marriage counselor, you want someone who keeps up with the latest research -- a caring person who genuinely wants to help you get your marriage back on track. This is why we have one of the most successful marriage counseling practices the Philadelphia PA area.
Experience has taught us that the biggest predictor a marriage is at risk is when a partner feels their needs are not being met.
Marriage is a contract that needs to be honored.
In effect, this contract infers that marriage is an exclusive relationship and that needs for affection and sex will be met within the relationship. When these needs are not met within the relationship, the marriage becomes very vulnerable.
The hurtful things that are said and done can gnaw away at the fabric of a marriage. We have learned from treating couples for over twenty-eight years that often, when one person's behavior changes, the other person's behavior changes too.
Staying focused on behaviors that make one another feel closer, rather than a power struggle in which each tries to prove he or she is right, is one of the keys to a successful marriage.
A little appreciation goes a long way toward healing years of emotional pain.
Researchers have found that by the age of five, the average child receives five thousand "yes's" and forty thousand "no’s!" Most people aren’t accustomed to receiving enough appreciation. As a result, they are not always adept at showing appreciation either.
When we give couples a homework assignment and ask them to each express five appreciations a day, they usually return to tell us the exercise has helped them enormously.
The biggest issue that drives couples apart is conflict.
Changing the way couples handle conflict is another crucial lesson we teach our clients. When one person's way of communicating changes, the other person's response usually changes too.
We teach people to speak in a softer, kinder tone of voice.
Statements like "you, you, you!" will only make both of you angry and frustrated. Instead, try saying "I feel," or "I hurt," but in such a way that to make sure the other person’s dignity remains intact. Once you begin doing this, you’ll find your partner will respond differently too. Soon you’ll find that you can resolve conflicts more easily and find them far less frightening.
Showing appreciation and resolving conflicts are skills.
To master these skills you need proper guidance, practice and commitment. Below are some of the skills we teach our clients.
We Teach Our Clients How to:
- understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree.
- tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know.
- stand your ground when it matters.
- show your support for your partner's goals.
- listen to your partner.
- show affection.
- heal the heart with LACE (Love, Appreciation, Compassion, Empathy).
- learn why a sincere intention to change can make a significant difference in your marriage.
Take the first step towards a better relationship .
Pick up the phone and call 888- 528-6407.
Make that important first call. We're here to help you.
Sincerely,
Arlene Foreman, M.S. & The Counselors at A Center For Marriage Counseling
Relationship Counseling and Couples Counseling
888-528-6407
