It's Never Too Late To Save Your Relationship If You Are Both Willing To Work On It
We help couples and individuals in any type of relationship.
Rekindling the love in your relationship and making it work is possible when you are open to change.
How can you restore the love you once had after all that's happened?
Experience has taught us that the biggest predictor a marriage is at risk is when a partner feels his or her needs are not being met.
"A relationship is like a garden," says Dr. John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If it is to thrive, it must be watered regularly. New seeds must be sown, and weeds must be pulled. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive, we must understand its seasons and nurture love's special needs.
To save your marriage, you must begin by giving each other empathy and respect. You must learn important communication skills. The hurtful things that are said and done can seriously damage the fabric of your relationship.
We can guide you even if your partner does not want to participate in counseling.
We'll teach you new ways to interact with your partner that can make you both feel closer. Often, when one person changes, the other person changes too.
Nobody wins a power struggle
Stay focused on behaviors that make you feel closer, rather than be engaged in a power struggle in which each tries to prove he or she is right.
A little appreciation goes a long way toward healing years of emotional pain.
Researchers have found that by the age of five, the average child receives five thousand "yes's" and forty thousand "no's!" Most people aren't accustomed to receiving enough appreciation. As a result, they are not always adept at showing appreciation either.
When we give couples a homework assignment and ask them to each express five appreciations a day, they usually return to tell us the exercise has helped them enormously.
What appears to be the problem is often not the real problem.
A few months ago, a young couple came for counseling. He was African-American, and she was Jewish. Although Marsha and Roy loved each other deeply, they constantly bickered. Relatives and friends told them their problems were due to racial and religious differences but, in the very first session, it became obvious that these differences played a relatively small part in the stressed relationship.
Marsha and Roy needed to learn how to relate in ways that made them feel closer. During counseling sessions, they gained a greater understanding of each other's needs, changed negative international patterns, and acquired important t communication skills that enabled them to create a vibrant, lasting marriage.
Marriage is an exclusive relationship.
The marriage contract infers that needs for affection and sex will be met within the relationship. When these needs are not met within the relationship, the marriage becomes very vulnerable. Couples must make sure they spend adequate quality time together and are sensitive and respectful of each other's feelings and needs.
The pain of infidelity can be overcome with good counseling.
Your partner feels crushed, enraged, betrayed, and abandoned. Trust has been shattered. The pain is unbearable. If the relationship is to be saved, trust must be re-established.
Infidelity may be an indicator of larger problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. Couples can recover from infidelity if they are willing to work on their relationship. With professional help, they can often move past the pain, acquire valuable new skills, and begin again
The average couple waits seven years from the time their marriage begins to unravel until they seek counseling. What finally drives them to take that step is frustration and pain.
The #1 cause of divorce in this country is that couples slowly, insidiously drift apart.
Marriage almost always begins with love, excitement, and an intention to grow old together. But the sweetest dreams can float away in a sea of hurts, disappointments and unresolved conflicts.
When our clients tell us their hearts are broken, they're not just speaking metaphorically.
The stress of a troubled marriage can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and cancer. That's because when couples constantly bicker and fight, adrenaline and cortisol levels soar. These hormones surge during emergencies. It's what happens in the familiar fight-or-flight response. In an emergency this response is necessary for survival -- on a daily basis it can lead to illness.
When your body is in a state of high tension day after day and year after year, the effects can be devastating. Your body takes a beating.
Successful marriages are the result of a couple intentionally behaving in a way that every decision they make is to preserve, enrich and enhance their marriage. They have a common vision for this marriage and a common belief system of how to get there.
We'll teach you excellent communication and problem-solving skills.
When confronting your partner, you'll both learn to speak in a softer, kinder tone of voice. Statements like "you, you, you!" only make your partner feel angry and frustrated. Instead, try saying "I feel," and "I would like," but remember, keep your partner's dignity in tact. Once you change the way you communicate, you'll find that your partner responds differently too.
We'll teach you what to say and do to keep the argument from escalating.
Soon you'll learn how to resolve conflicts more easily and will find them far less frightening.
You'll learn how to:
- understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree .
- tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know.
- stand your ground when it matters.
- show support for your partner's goals.
- listen to your partner with your heart.
- show affection.
- heal each other with LACE (Love, Appreciation, Compassion, Empathy).
- understand how a sincere intention to change can make a significant difference in your marriage.
When all you want is a single session, we have a treatment plan that fits your needs.
Usually the first session with a marriage counselor barely scratches the surface of your issues. You can easily spend 30 minutes or more just explaining your problems. By the time you are done explaining your issues there is no time to work on them before the session ends.
Then you are faced with booking a second session the following week. This means spending more money and taking more time out of your busy schedule. Not to mention you have to wait another week before you begin to really work on your issues.
Many of our patients get a great benefit from only one extended session of couples counseling. Single session counseling can be very productive. When the goal of your counseling is to resolve your problems in only one session you tend to get right to the heart of issues quickly.
Our therapists are experts in brief counseling. Over 80% of our single session clients say they are very satisfied with the results.
Our counselor will help you peel through the superficial issues that are covering up your real underlying problems. Then the counselor will help you learn new skills to help you overcome your relationship problems. Most relationship problems stem from a couples not having the basic skills they need to get what they want from thier partners without hurting them with anger, sarcasm or stonewalling tactics. Our therapist can help you learn basic communication skills that will help you resolve your problems during your session and when you get back home and face the difficult problems that affect every relationship.
Before you wrap up the session our counselor will give you both some homework and will schedule a follow up phone call. The follow up call will allow you and our counselor to evaluate the success of the session and see if it was effective for changing the trajectory of your relationship.
Brief counseling is a growing field of marriage counseling that meets the needs of many couples. Most of our single session clients come to the session with the relationship hanging by a thread and then leave 90 minutes later, holding hands and with big smiles because they now have the tools they need to change the trajectory of their relationship.
Single session counseling does not work for everyone, but it may be the best option you have to help you save your relationship.
Our single session intensives are extended sessions that last twice as long as a normal session. The fee is 200 dollars. We also offer half day and full day sessions.
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Take the first step. Pick up the phone and call. We're here to help you.
Sincerely,
Arlene Foreman, M.S. & The Counselors at Philadelphia Area Couples Counseling Alliance
Relationship Counseling and Couples Counseling
888-242-1720
