It's Never Too Late To Work Together to Improve Your Relationship

Larry Schwab, M.F.T., L.M.F.T.

Couples Counseling with a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Wilmington, Delaware
17-C Trolley Square
302.654.7155

Intimate relationships can also be tense relationships.

It is unfortunately very common for you to be experiencing drama, tension, and possibly disappointment in your most intimate relationship. An experienced therapist will not be surprised by your story, and can be a source of stability and neutrality for the two of you. We have learned from counseling couples for over 22 years that peace and satisfaction are possible when you are open to change, especially when you work together.

You may need a guide to improve your relationship.

Couples counseling can introduce you to a set of skills that you need to reduce tension, communicate better, build trust and feel more intimate with each other. It is difficult to ask for help with something personal and intimate, but sometimes that is what you need, and seeking help is better than losing what you desire for yourselves.

It is good for your immune system to be married, and handle stress well.

It is generally good for your health to be married, but the stress you experience when there is constant tension can lead to health problems. When your body is put in a state of high tension day after day and year after year, the effects can be harsh. The body takes a beating. If your marriage is in trouble why not learn to raise the alarm and try to solve your problems and reduce tension?

Treatment helps couples with any type of relationship; remarried, married, nearly married, never married, or unmarried.

If you are a couple, you are experiencing the complexity of intimacy, and may benefit from counseling. If you are serious enough to be working on your relationship, in our view you are married emotionally, whether you are legally, or not.

Marriage is a surprisingly complicated contract, and it is fair to be held accountable.

There are two of you, and you entered your joint experience with separate expectations and needs. Part of the art of staying a couple is to get comfortable with the fact that there are two of you with valid emotions, needs and feelings. This contract gives you the expectation that marriage is an exclusive relationship and that needs for connection, affection and sex will be met within the relationship. When these expectations and needs are not met within the relationship, the marriage becomes very vulnerable. If the contract feels broken, or the familiar kindnesses have gone away, you may need to check on your relationship with a counselor, in neutral territory.

Don’t delay. Learn how to reduce tension and get your needs met through genuine intimacy.

Every day, couples take charge of their lives in a new way and take the step into a counselor’s office to talk about themselves, and find that it is safe, supportive and useful to share the experience together. We start a conversation together, try to understand what has been happening, and then make plans for working together. The counseling itself is an important shared experience that can enhance intimacy.

Small changes, like showing appreciation and kindness, make a big difference.

The changes you need to make may not be as major as you think. The “climate” of a relationship can be changed by starting conversations in a different way, or catching yourself when you know you are about to add to the amount of tension. We have learned from treating couples for so many years that often, when one person's behavior changes, the other person's behavior changes too. Staying focused on behaviors that make the two of you feel closer, rather than a power struggle in which each tries to prove that they are right, is one of the keys to a successful marriage. Without help, the little or big hurtful things that are said and done can harm the fabric of a marriage.

You can learn to speak and listen in a softer, kinder way. Couples react badly to conflict, and need new skills.

You will be asked to communicate differently with your partner, be more aware of the effect you are having on each other, and consider the choices you are making when you communicate. Researchers have found that couples suffer if there are more negative messages than positive ones. We respond badly if we don’t feel appreciated, or keep hearing negatives. It is important to communicate differently. Statements about your partner tend to raise tension, while statements about yourself are safer. You will be asked to be honest about your own reactions to stressful tense moments, and try out new approaches so you can avoid conflict more effectively. Once you begin doing this, you’ll find your partner will respond differently, too. Soon you’ll find that you can resolve conflicts more easily and find them far less frightening. It is a learning process that is healthy, positive, and part of your personal growth.

We Teach Our Clients How to:

Understand and comfort and work with your partner even when you are upset or disagree.
Discuss events that have put your relationship at risk.
Listen to your partner.
Tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know.
Be thoughtful, curious and concerned about your partner
Stand your ground when it matters.
Give support for your partner's goals.
Show affection.

Take the first step towards a better relationship.
Pick up the phone and call 302.654.7155.

 

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Larry Schwab, Marriage & Family Therapist, MFT LMFT

Larry is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist based in Media, PA and Wilmington, DE. He has treated individuals, couples and families for 22 years, and has instructed and supervised other therapists.
"I believe that it is the relationships we have with each other that determine our peace of mind and quality of life. It is through relating more clearly with each other that we can improve our lives. Couples often enter therapy feeling disappointed and disillusioned. It is important for them to leave the first session with a sense of hope and anticipation of better ways of communicating and being intimate with each other"

Larry Schwab sees clients at his offices in Media PA and Wilmington DE.

• In Wilmington, he serves clients from the surrounding areas of Chadds Ford and West Chester, Pennsylvania, as well as the state of Delaware, southern New Jersey, northern Maryland, and as far north as Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and the suburbs of Philadelphia.
  
  
• Clinical Member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
  
  
• Masters degree in Family Therapy from Hahnemann University in Philadelphia, 1987.
  
  
• Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Delaware and Pennsylvania.
  
  
• Mr. Schwab will help you take advantage of health insurance by issuing a receipt that can be used to make out-of-network claims.
  
  
• His Wilmington office is conveniently located at:
  17-C Trolley Square, Wilmington DE 19806.
  
  
• Daytime and evening appointments.

Call 302.654.7155 to make an appointment

Larry also has a marriage counseling practice in Media PA